A Comedy
by Arthur Smith & Chris England

'A Winner all the way' - Daily Telegraph
'Probably the funniest play in the Universe' - Daily Express

You don't have to be a football fan to cheer at the antics of these colourful characters! The lovely Monica and her football crazy husband Bill, a publisher, have agreed to try to rekindle the flames of their failing marriage in Majorca - with the help of plenty of sun, sand and sangria. Also present is Bill's best friend, Ian who has picked up - in a Benny Hill karaoke bar - a German tourist rep called Brigitta. Then, uninvited, Dan appears. He's a travel writer, client of Bill's, but more importantly, Monica's secret lover. It is the night of the 4th July 1990 when England played Germany in that ill-fated World Cup semi-final. The group settle down to watch the game on the hotel's TV. The men see Gary Lineker as the god who is certain to take England to world glory. Monica sees Gary as the white knight who will rescue her from a morass of marital problems. Brigitta of course - Boo! Boo! - sees him as the enemy.

Through ninety minutes, extra time and the infamous penalty shoot-out the field of battle switches between the hotel room and the football pitch as Monica, Bill and the England Team approach the inevitable. The jokes come thick and fast in this winning comedy as the authors score with a stunning, surprise finale.

By arrangement with Joseph Weinberger Ltd.

FELICITY DUNCAN (Monica) Felicity trained at the Webber Douglas Academy. Most recently, she played the Nurse in ROMEO & JULIET at Vienna's English Speaking Theatre and Glinda the Good Witch in THE WIZARD OF OZ for Hiss and Boo. Other theatre work includes Alan Bennett's adaptation of THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS at Bristol Old Vic, NOISES OFF, CIDER WITH ROSIE , BILLY LIAR, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM (Liverpool Playhouse), JACK AND THE BEANSTALK (Salisbury Playhouse), FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, DICK WHITTINGTON (Belgrade Coventry), THE WIZARD OF OZ (Watermill, Newbury), DR LIVINGSTONE I PRESUME? (Riverside Studios), THE LIFE OF EDMUND KEAN (Watford Palace), CHARLEY'S AUNT (national tour) YOU NEVER CAN TELL (Mercury Colchester), and FIDDLER ON THE ROOF with the legendary Topol at The London Palladium and on tour. Television work: HOLBY CITY,THE BILL, BERGERAC. Voice over work: Continuity announcer for Oneword digital radio station, cartoon voices for Village Productions/Sky Network, Fairy Tales for Harper Collins, educational tapes for Pearson Education and Scholastic and a solo reading of FANNY HILL. With her writing partner, Jon Osbaldeston, Felicity has written and recorded two series of THE ADVENTURES OF P G WOODLOUSE for Oneword Radio and four stories for the SCHWINGO THE DINGO series for Fridgeplay Ltd.

JOANNA ELIOT (Birgitta) Joanna is a recent graduate of the Webber Douglas Academy. Theatre credits at Webber Douglas include: THE CONSTANT WIFE (Martha)THE MELODY LINGERS ON (Mrs Irving Berlin),RACING DEMON (Frances). Other theatre credits are TIME AND THE CONWAYS (Theatre Royal Bath), JOURNEY TO MACBETH (Theatrum Botannicum), THE SECRET RAPTURE (EUTC). TV credits include: MARGERY & GLADYS (Carlton); LIFE BEYOND THE BOX as Young Margo (BBC 2). AN EVENING WITH GARY LINEKER is Joanna's professional theatre debut.

IAIN JONES (Dan) Iain trained at Bretton Hall. Theatre work includes DEALERS CHOICE at Salisbury Playhouse; Silvius in AS YOU LIKE IT, Steven in BRING ME SUNSHINE, and TEXTS FOUR all at the Royal Exchange, Manchester; EARLY ONE MORNING at Bolton Octagon (for which he was nominated as Best Actor in the Manchester Evening News Theatre Awards); MY NIGHT WITH REG and SLEEPING BEAUTY at the Library Theatre, Manchester; THE RISE AND FALL OF LITTLE VOICE at Hull Truck; ME MAM SEZ, Y'SHUNTA JOINED and CINDERELLA at Oldham Coliseum; CIDER WITH ROSIE and SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER at Liverpool Playhouse; PORT at the Royal Court; A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM , STIG OF THE DUMP, NOW AND THEN and THE JUNGLE BOOK at The Unicorn Theatre, London; BIRDY at Battersea Arts Centre and DIVING FOR PEARLS at the Albany. Tours include THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE; I'M MARRYING RYAN GIGGS and BODYTALK. Television credits include A RATHER ENGLISH MARRIAGE (BAFTA for Best Drama); the BBC3 comedy GREASE MONKEYS ; A & E; CORONATION STREET; IN THE HOUSE WITH CLEOPATRA; THE SOUTH BANK SHOW; THE CARETAKER; HARRY and TIMELINES. Films: WARGAMES, and voices for the animated feature film CHRISTMAS CAROL - THE MOVIE. Radio work includes GO EASY ON THE MILK for Radio 4, and several plays for BBC Schools Radio. Directing: NOCTURNO at The Chelsea Centre, and BIRDY at Battersea Arts Centre.

STEVE NORTH (Ian) Steve was brought up in Wantage, Oxfordshire and first became interested in acting at school. He was a member of the Pegasus Youth theatre in Oxford where he worked with companies such as Theatre de Complicite and the Right Size. He trained at GSA and now lives in Brighton. His theatre work includes a number of football related plays such as FEVER PITCH (a one man show of Nick Hornby's acclaimed book) of which he did two national tours and three months in the West End), a national tour of THE FOOTBALL FACTORY and a play specially commissioned to celebrate the centenary of Brighton and Hove Albion FC, BRIGHTON 'TIL I DIE. Other theatre includes ONLY WHEN I LAUGH (directed by Ian Masters), PRETTY VACANT, BRIGHTON BEACH SCUMBAGS (Berkoff), TOO MUCH PUNCH FOR JUDY. His television and film work includes THE DAY BRITAIN STOPPED, two series of IS HARRY ON THE BOAT?, four series of LONDON'S BURNING, WOOF, THE BILL , SOUTH WEST NINE, THROUGH THE K-HOLE, LIVING DOWN HERE, SUSSED, BOOKWORKM, and he pops up occasionally in Albert Square as one of their regular coppers, DS Bernard. He co-wrote and was Associate Producer of the film SOUTH WEST NINE and is also Associate Producer of the film of THE FOOTBALL FACTORY released in May of this year. Unlike Ian, Steve is a big football fan and co-wrote a book about Brighton called BUILD A BONFIRE, how football fans united to save Brighton and Hove Albion (Mainstream Publishing).

DAVID THORPE (Bill) Born in Sheffield in the year England won the World Cup! David grew up on the Isle of Wight. His theatre credits include Eric Birling in AN INSPECTOR CALLS; John Smith in RUN FOR YOUR WIFE; Norman in LIVING TOGETHER (Frinton Summer Theatre). Anthony Marston in AND THEN THERE WERE NONE (National tour) Jan in THE UNEXPECTED GUEST (York Opera House) and Henry Higgins in PYGMALION (Italian tour) On television he has been seen in THE BRITTAS EMPIRE, JONATHAN CREEK, and PEAK PRACTICE. Twice a member of the BBC Radio Drama Company, David has been heard in numerous radio productions, and currently plays Dr. Sean Graham in WESTWAY, the BBC World Service soap. He has also worked as a presenter for BBC English, and recorded several audio books, including recently Phillip Pullman's HIS DARK MATERIALS trilogy for the RNIB. David is married with two children and lives in London. He supports Crystal Palace.

IAN MASTERS (Director) AN EVENING WITH GARY LINEKER is the fourteenth production Ian has directed at The Mill. Other productions he has directed here have been; FUNNY BUSINESS, A PARTY TO MURDER, TIME & TIME AGAIN, HOW THE OTHER HALF LOVES, WHEN THE KISSING STOPPED, PARTY PIECE, THERE'S A GIRL IN MY SOUP, TWO DOZEN RED ROSES, ONLY WHEN I LAUGH, THE PERFECT PENSION PLAN, MOVE OVER MRS MARKHAM and UNDER THE YUM-YUM TREE. His directorial debut was with a play called BECK at the King's Head Theatre, Islington. This starred Hugh Lloyd and was chosen as a platform production at The National Theatre. He then directed THE ORANGE PENQUIN an award winner at the Edinburgh Festival. From there he moved on to commercial productions which included national tours and summer seasons- including THE MATING GAME starring Barbara Windsor and the late Terry Scott - WHO GOES THERE with Trevor Bannister and Melvyn Hayes - FUNNY MONEY. For the late Derek Nimmo, he directed ONLY WHEN I LAUGH with William Gaunt, Simon Ward AND Stephen North; ABIGAIL'S PARTY and recently DO NOT DISTURB starring Gerald Harper. He directed MUZZY and THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS for the BBC in Europe. Other productions have included, THE MOUSE TRAP, RAINBOW and ten pantomimes, the most recent at Cambridge which starred Ross Kemp

TERRY PARSONS (Set designer) Terry has designed over 36 productions in London's West End including, GREASE, SOUTH PACIFIC, PRESENT LAUGHTER, ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, SOME LIKE IT HOT, SINGIN' IN THE RAIN, LEND ME A TENOR, RADIO TIMES, SILLY COW, GASPING, CHARLIE GIRL, CAN-CAN and TWO INTO ONE. Most recent designs are a new musical BE BOP A LULA for Denmark, ROMEO AND JULIET in Vienna, the European Premieres of Edward Albee's latest play THE GOAT and the award-winning Broadway hit PROOF, BLITHE SPIRIT and SHOWBOAT all in Denmark and A FOOT IN THE DOOR and A PASSIONATE WOMAN for the Mill at Sonning. His many international credits include MARLENE (costume) on Broadway, GREASE in Paris, FAME in Denmark, HABEUS CORPUS in Hong Kong, CHICAGO in Athens, SOUTH PACIFIC in Japan and THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SONG in the Far East. Terry has also designed numerous straight plays ranging from Shakespeare, Sheridan and Congreve to Orton, Ionesco and Durrenmatt - notably Arthur Miller's A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE with Topol, WHEN WE ARE MARRIED with Timothy West, Prunella Scales and Patricia Routledge, and J B Priestley's TIME AND THE CONWAYS at The Old Vic starring Joan Plowright. Terry has also been Head of Design at three major theatres: The Belgrade, Coventry, The Theatre Royal, Plymouth and The Haymarket, Leicester.

JANE KIDD (Costume Designer) Jane who is our Resident Costume Designer, trained in Fashion Design at Berkshire College of Art. She freelanced in knitwear and dress design for five years before joining The Mill as Wardrobe Mistress, and enjoys a variety of making both period and modern costumes of which she has made many whilst at The Mill. Some of Jane's recent costume designs include TOO MARVELOUS FOR WORDS, FUNNY ABOUT LOVE, MY THREE ANGELS, INSIDE JOB, SEASON'S GREETINGS, BUILDING BLOCKS, A FOOT IN THE DOOR, POOLS PARADISE, BOYS WILL BE BOYS, THE MATING GAME, WRITE ME A MURDER, A PASSIONATE WOMAN, FUNNY MONEY, JUST BETWEEN OURSELVES, THE FACE OF FEAR and YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG TWICE.

ROSLYN NASH (Lighting Designer) Roslyn trained at Mountview Theatre School and has worked at The Mill for over ten years. She started as Technical Assistant and now has the pleasure of being the Production Manager. Over the years she has been given the opportunity to light many of the productions - a few recent ones include: FUNNY BUSINESS, MY THREE ANGELS, SEASON'S GREETINGS, A FOOT IN THE DOOR, POOLS PARADISE, BOYS WILL BE BOYS, THE MATING GAME, WRITE ME A MURDER, A PASSIONATE WOMAN, FUNNY MONEY and JUST BETWEEN OURSELVES.

SALLY HUGHES (Artistic Director) Sally spent her early years in Venezuela and Argentina and after finishing her education in England, she then trained for the stage as an actress at The Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art. On graduating she was given her first engagement by John Fernald who directed her in COMING OF AGE. Then followed ARE YOU NOW OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN at The Bush and CATCHPENNY TWIST at The King's Head Theatre. In 1984 Sally took over the post of Artistic Director of The Mill At Sonning from Peter Egan and has directed and appeared in many of its productions, including DAMES AT SEA (an excerpt of which was included in The Royal Gala Performance in the presence of HRH The Prince of Wales), and most recently she appeared as Ginger Mercer in the musical TOO MARVELOUS FOR WORDS. The most recent plays Sally has directed at The Mill are A FOOT IN THE DOOR, POOLS PARADISE and very recently THE FACE OF FEAR. Sally enjoys a career outside of The Mill and has played leading parts in the BBC series LATE EXPECTATIONS and LAURA AND DISORDER in which she played Wendy Craig's daughter-in-law. Other TV appearances include: DON'T WAIT UP, KEEPING UP APPEARANCES, BRUSHSTROKES & MULBERRY. Sally directed the National Tour of PASTIMES, starring Rosemary Leach and William Gaunt and also directed BAREFOOT IN THE PARK by Neil Simon at the Jermyn Street Theatre in the West End. Last year Sally appeared in TOO MARVELOUS FOR WORDS, at the King's Head, London.

CHRIS ENGLAND (Playwright) Chris England studied English Literature at Pembroke College, Cambridge, where he joined the Cambridge Footlights and toured the UK and Australia with the Footlights Revues. He has performed regularly on stage, television and film as an actor, and has also written a number of plays including FEELING THE BENEFIT and THE PRETENDERS. Chris is also an established sports writer. His most recent publication is NO MORE BUDHA, ONLY FOOTBALL - his hilarious account of his time spent in Japan during the 2002 world cup while on assignment for TALKSPORT radio. Chris supports Oldham Athletic.